Wednesday, March 17, 2010

CHILD ABUSE

Cute little souls
Harassed by devils
In pain they
Live waiting for
Death to come

Agony filled heart
Beg to end
Utterly vicious sin
Society is suffering
Extremely to death

written for Acrostic Only...!!!

10 comments:

Being Pramoda... said...

touching one re..:)

Yamini Meduri said...

@Pramoda

thank you dear...!!

Amity said...

This is so painful for the victims...and why can't our government do something to these evil perpetrators?

We must be vigilant if we see one!

Very nice take Yamini!

Leo said...

this is missing a Yamii feel i think.. the words were eloquent, but yet felt incomplete!

Ofira Sephiroth said...

Nicely written.

Amias said...

This is good Yamini, needs a little work, but your meaning was clear.

"soul" - try "souls"

"harried" is a good word, but it does not flow with the rest of the poem, "harassed" is better.

"in pain it" - try "in pain they"
Take the "s" of "Live"

The other suggestions will follow in email. Still, I like the direction you took this, simple, but to the point.

I am so glad to see you back writing ... I know your time is precious, but please try and make more time for writing ... your voice is so very important!

Yamini Meduri said...

@Amity

thanks dear..!!

Governments are busy looting people...they are least bothered..!!!

Yamini Meduri said...

@Leo

thanks yaar...will try my best to make it better..!!

Yamini Meduri said...

@Ofira

thanks friend..!!

Yamini Meduri said...

@Amias

thanks dear...made the corrections...!!

Trying my best to make to do the acros...as you know...i love the time with the acros..!!